aLIVE

Tonight I got a tattoo. It's funny really, at 22 it really isn't a big deal, just another thing in life. But it was so much more than that. It was 10 min of pain not even close that the past has brought, it was a symbol of moving past surviving, it's a symbol of learning to live, it was the last 10 min I will emotionally cry for the last 20 months, it was a symbol of awareness, and it was closure.

The road ahead isn't going to be easy, hell it might even be worse, but no more am I simply surviving. I have a long way to go, an awfully long way to go, but for the first time in 20 months I feel whole. I feel like I have finally reached a point in my life where I'm no longer fighting to survive, I am learning to live. While it isn't a walk on the beach, the pain wasn't as bad as the emotions that came before. There may not be an end in sight right now but it's time for me to Live despite the disease not surviving under it. Wether it's a good day or a bad day I will Live that day with all I have, because now I finally feel aLIVE.