Missing You A Whole Awful Lot ♥

Take Care Up There

Don't Forget I'm Here

I read these other blogs and I find cool that the view base is so large. Hell some blogs I've seen generate   1000s of views a day, I thought it would be cool if I started one and thats what happened. I was so wrong. Its cool knowing this blog is my own little nitch in the internet. From what I know other than a few people no one knows I'm here. It's my place to vent to think to write. And its just me.

Its funny really when you meet someone, your first though tisn't "How am I going to live without this person?" You see you don't think about how much a person is going to mean to you when you first meet them but when the day comes that you don't have them it sucks. When you go from seeing and talking to someone everyday to not at all, its life changing.

Days are long, busy, tiring and fast. People say that time goes by fast and years are gone before you realize but how many people actually sit there in the middle of one of those busy days and admire it for what it is? Fast paced, busy and just maybe exactly what you wanted. Just remember the people that aren't aways in the picture, write down when you've made plans, make it up to them when you forget and read the letters they've left you. Don't let the busyness and monotony of everyday life make you forget what makes your life yours and the people in it.

"And If I told you I loved you would it change what you see?" -The Avett Brothers

The Way it Should Be. Live Your Own Life.

badwolfonbakerstreet:

jokerchenisdifferent:

oneandonlygabriel:

I really, REALLY wish you could read this article about a father who started wearing skirts because his son likes to wear skirts and dresses and he wants his son to feel stronger
Like, holy shit, the end made me feel so happy 

This is so beautiful I’m sorry for everyone who can’t speak German and can’t read this right now. 

I translated the article. Please excuse any mistakes, it was done in quite a hurry.

My 5-year old boy likes to wear dresses. In Berlin Kreuzberg that was enough to start conversations with other parents. Is that sensible or ridiculous? ‘Neither!’ I still want to shout at them. But unfortunately they can’t hear me anymore. Because by now I live in a little town in southern Germany. Not even a hundred thousand inhabitants, very traditional, very religious. Here my son’s preferences aren’t only a topic for the parents, they’re common talk.

Yes, I’m one of those fathers who try to raise their children equal. I’m not one of those academical dads that while studying keep blathering on about gender equality and as soon as there is a child fall back into the cuddly cliché role images: He self-actualizes in his job, she takes care of the rest.

With that, I have realized now, I am part of a minority that occasionally makes a fool out of itself. Out of conviction.

In my case it has to do with me not wanting to persuade my son not to wear dresses and skirts. Since he wasn’t making friends by doing that in Berlin, after due consideration I only had one choice. To square my shoulder for my little guy and put on a skirt myself. After all I can’t expect the same assertiveness of a preschool child than I do of an adult. Without a role model. So I am the role model now.

So back then in Berlin we already had skirt and dress days when the weather was tepid. Long skirts with elastic bands quite suit me, I think. Dresses are more difficult. The Berliners reacted hardly at all or positive. They are used to weird people. In my little town in southern Germany that’s a little different.

With all the stress while moving I forgot to tell the teachers at kindergarten to make sure my boy won’t be laughed at because of his preference. A short time later he didn’t dare to go to kindergarten in a skirt or dress. And asked me with big eyes: ‘Papa, when will you wear a skirt again?’.

Until this day I am grateful to that woman who kept staring at us in the pedestrian zone until she ran into a lamp post. My son was roaring with laughter. And the next day he took a dress out of the cupboard again. At first only for the weekend. Later for kindergarten as well.

And what’s the guy doing by now? He paints his fingernails. He think it looks pretty on me, too. He smiles when other boys (it’s almost always boys) want to make a fool out of him and says: ‘You just don’t dare to wear dresses and skirts because your fathers don’t dare to.’ That’s how much he has squared his shoulders by now. Thanks to dad in a skirt.

(via peekadora)

(via http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/)

aLIVE

Tonight I got a tattoo. It's funny really, at 22 it really isn't a big deal, just another thing in life. But it was so much more than that. It was 10 min of pain not even close that the past has brought, it was a symbol of moving past surviving, it's a symbol of learning to live, it was the last 10 min I will emotionally cry for the last 20 months, it was a symbol of awareness, and it was closure.

The road ahead isn't going to be easy, hell it might even be worse, but no more am I simply surviving. I have a long way to go, an awfully long way to go, but for the first time in 20 months I feel whole. I feel like I have finally reached a point in my life where I'm no longer fighting to survive, I am learning to live. While it isn't a walk on the beach, the pain wasn't as bad as the emotions that came before. There may not be an end in sight right now but it's time for me to Live despite the disease not surviving under it. Wether it's a good day or a bad day I will Live that day with all I have, because now I finally feel aLIVE.

My Drive, My Need. My Life.

Because Your You

I'll never understand why I do the things I do, say the things I say, keep the things I keep. Maybe one day, if I'm lucky, someone will tell me and it will simply be "because your you".